Pillars

"An essential part of something that provides support."

No definition better describes the two women in my life who I so deeply love and admire.

In honor of Mother's Day (yesterday): letters to my Moms.

My Mom - Sharon

Dear Mom,

I tear up as I write this, not because it brings me pain but because I so deeply, deeply appreciate you. Our journey together is a story more beautiful, adventurous, and courageous than any story ever told. If chip-stained fingers turned the pages of our life's book, they would undoubtedly caress sheets torn and crinkled by moments of selfishness, rebellion and unforgiveness. But as they gently turned past the weathered pages, they would find a story so rich in redemption, restoration and admiration that their hearts would swell with the love that we share for each other. No matter how far her cub strays from her den, a momma lioness never sleeps until she finds it. To call you a "pillar" in my life hardly does justice to what value you truly bring. I remember every word of advice you ever gave me. Every tear I ever watched you cry over me. I remember every hug you ever gave me, pressing me so closely to you as to shelter and guard me from pain. I remember every smile you ever gave me, at every school play, every softball game, every graduation and every event of my childhood. I remember every "I don't have dumb children. My children can do whatever they set their minds to. Your my child. That means you're smart and that means you can do this." I remember every laugh we ever shared over bikes I fell off of, words I mis-pronounced, fashion pieces I put together and inside jokes we developed. I remember every break-up you ever talked me through, every "you're better than this" speech you gave me, every knee you rested your hand on and that look you always gave me - that "no matter what you do, you'll never stop being my daughter" look. What I remember most is who you ARE - the things I so desperately try to emulate in my own life.

You are true to your word. You always told me - "all you ever have in this world is your word, so make it honest."

You are a stone of faith. Your life has been one of so much loss. But the one thing you've refused to lose is your faith in GOD. Of all the things you've ever taught me, this was the one you taught with the least amount of words. It was learned by observing your life.

You are a lioness - ever gentle, ever watchful, ever protective of your cubs. Even in the moments of such rebellion in my life, you never ceased to watch over me. Even when it broke you, you never stopped fighting for me. Even in moments when you made mistakes, you owned them. Our story is full of mistakes made on both sides. But the one consistent story line is your inability to cease fighting for your children.

I love you, Mom.

In celebration of Mother's Day....and in celebration of the admiration I hold everyday in my heart for you.

I love you.

***********************************************************************

My Mother-in-Law Love - Carol

I genuinely have to be the luckiest girl in the world to have a Mother-In-Law like you. To say I "honor" you on Mother's Day would be an understatement. How do I say thank you and contribute the right amount of honor to a woman who brought me the greatest gift I could ever, ever ask for - my husband. How do I say thank you for the nights you stayed up praying for him? How do I honor you for the seeds of forgiveness, compassion, loyalty, faithfulness, and obedience to the LORD that you planted in him? How do I celebrate you for the words of wisdom you spoke into him when we met and faced our fair share of challenges prior to our marriage? How do I properly pay tribute to a woman who kept me accountable in the area of purity prior to our marriage - an area that has bore so much amazing fruit in our marriage as a result of that accountability? What words could I possibly use to convey my deepest, most sincere appreciation for the acceptance you showed me, despite my ever-so-blatantly-obvious spotted past, when I first came into your and your family's life?

You gave me the greatest gifts a Mother ever could - the gift of her son; the trust to love, honor, respect and care for him; and acceptance into your heart.

I miss every graceful hug. I miss every Sunday family lunch. I miss every holiday Reynold's Family Recipe Noodle-making lesson. I miss the wisdom I always gained when we had our talks.

I'm forever thankful for the woman who raised my husband to be the man that he is today. He's the amazing husband he is largly because of you.

Happy Mother's Day to a woman I so completely adore.

I love you.

Re-Do

Hello, old friends.

I know it's been an unusually long time since my last post. I was in the middle of challenging myself with Jenni's blog everyday in May challenge and I was really, really enjoying it. It's the first challenge I've ever really done since I started blogging not-so-long-ago and it was really expanding my horizons and getting me exposed to thinking out-side of the blog (did you like that? i know....cheesy).

So, why did I stop?

Well....
the longer you walk with GOD and the longer you expose a vulnerable heart to HIM, the more HE changes you. You start to be able to hear HIS "voice". That isn't meant in some spooky, over-spiritual, Schizophrenic kind-of-way. It isn't meant to freak you out or make you feel like you must be doing something wrong if you're a Christian and you aren't "hearing" voices in the room next to you. GOD's voice isn't like a scary movie with a baritone voice echoing in the hallways, in your closets and under your bed. GOD speaks to everyone differently. Sometimes it's just that feeling in your gut that tells you that you're going to be ok when you're having a bad day. Sometimes it's that friend that says something so powerfully to you that you wonder how they got a hold of your diary. For me, HE speaks to me in writing, mostly. Thoughts that I just know aren't my own will start popping in my head and I just write them down and when I read back over it - yep, I know that's GOD.

As you spend more and more time with HIM, HE starts to "talk" to you more about your life. Sometimes it will be about an area of your life HE wants to change for the better. Sometimes it's about the way you talk to your spouse or your parents or your children. Sometimes it's simply just to say how much HE loves you <--- those are always my favorite talks.

This whole month GOD has been talking to me. More than I think I've ever heard HIM before. Without sharing a lot of things that I don't feel released to share, HE has been working on the way that I have thought about myself, what my future holds for me and the way that I live my life currently. It's not that I haven't lived a life honorable to HIM. It's just that HE wants me to take my honor to the next level. You can be a Christian and be dry in areas that HE wants you flowing in.

What does all this have to do with the first paragraph of this post? Well, it has to do with the fact that sometimes GOD even speaks to us about the littlest of things in our life such as social media. I started out this blog for a very specific purpose. I wanted to use it to touch the lives of those who read it - to energize them, to encourage them, to speak light into their darkness and hope into their hopeless. I wanted GOD to direct my posts. Not because I want to be over-spiritual. No, "spirituality" is not a thing. "Spirituality" is an identification with GOD's Holy Spirit and that means I have to walk where HE walks and talk what HE talks.

It's not that I think my "Friday Favorites" posts are wrong to post or that doing this challenge Jenni posted was somehow "wrong". GOD isn't a dictator. HE isn't a fun-sucker. HE didn't tell me to stop posting those things. I think HE just renewed in me a realization of what social media impacts. It reaches out soooo much further than we think it does. It speaks to more people than we even intend, sometimes. So I think I just have a renewed awareness - a renewed 'vision' and focus for what I want my blog to be. It doesn't mean I won't post more 'funny' posts or that suddenly it will become serious and stuffy and boring. It just means that I'm trying to stop the horse and turn the reins over to GOD. HE does so much better at this stuff than I do. It just means that I don't want to operate/post on pure emotions, anymore. My FB is even getting an over-haul. I've used that for so many years now to "vent" on and take political stances on and shamefully and embarrassingly - admittedly - used for a source of gossip. FB has become a mechanism for people to open their lives so vulnerably that satan has such an easy job, now, of supplying so much material for gossip. It's like sugar to cancer cells - the cells keep getting larger and larger because they have so much to feed off of. FB is a feeding trough for a morbidly obese gossip monster.

I guess I share all this just simply to say.... I am going to be more purposeful in my use of social media. If our lives are a "vapor"....I want to make sure I'm leaving the largest puddles I possibly can before it's all gone.

F E A R - That nasty 4 letter word

I used to live a great amount of my life in fear.

Fear that I would die a terrible, painful death.

Fear that if I ate food I would gain weight and never be able to get it off.

Fear that if I walked anywhere outside by myself I would get abducted.

I used to lock all the windows and doors of my house in fear that someone would break in and kill me.

My whole life was driven by fear.

Fear of failure being my largest obstacle.

It killed every dream I had.

I never completed college because I feared I couldn't do it.

I never pursued photography & journalism - my absolute favorite things in High School.

I discontinued Softball in fear that I couldn't get better and was dragging down my team.

I dropped out of dance class because I couldn't dance one dance. Couldn't get the moves down and feared failing long-term so I quit before I did.

Fear ran my life.

It smothered every dream I ever had.

I spent 21+ years in fear of failing...and I failed in so many areas because of that fear.

Life doesn't have to be that way.

We don't have to be afraid to live life - happily, prosperously, healthily, etc.

One night about 4 years ago, I asked that if GOD were real - could HE take away the fear in my life?

HE was real...and HE did.

I can't tell you that fear never crosses my mind.

But what I CAN tell you is that I leave the windows open at night, now.

I run outside on my own.

I eat food and I gain weight. I exercise and I lose it.

I'm in college and I passed the last 2 semesters with A's.

When I save up for a nice camera, I'll pursue that idea for photography I've held onto all these years.

When fear tries to make it's way into my mind...

when it tries to take my dreams/desires/future captive, again...

I remember what GOD says in the Bible - what HE promises to anyone who asks HIM and believes HIM to do it:

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

 

What I do

What I do -

I work for a corporation

I answer phones

I document calls

I resolve conflicts

I mediate between departments

I train employees

I am an analyst of systems

I have bad days

I have good days

(sorry these last 2 posts aren't more interesting. it's been a busy last couple of days!)



Hugs, Kisses and Shout-outs

Day 6 - (yes, I'm a day behind! lol) - Profess your love for a fellow blogger

How is this even possible when I have SO many bloggers that I just love so much? Is it really necessary to pick just ONE?

There are sooo many great blogs I am challenged by, laugh with, cry with, get down on my knees and pray because of. So many blogs that have healed deep wounds hidden beneath the facade of normalcy and 'togetherness'. How can you admire only one?

Some of my favorite bloggers are:

//Kerri//
created
diaryofabrwneyedgirl
http://www.bexadiary.com/

But one up-and-coming blogger, I'd love to dedicate a special shout-out to. She has an INCREDIBLE testimony of the LORD's preservation, grace and forgiveness. What I love so much about her is that she has the boldness of a tiger in the humble presentation of a doe. She is a powerful woman with an amazing calling on her life. She shares her journey so vulnerably with listening ears. She speaks wisdom beyond her years. I'm really just so excited to see what GOD uses her blog to do. She's a powerful woman. Check her blog out here: http://stevieraewonderful.blogspot.com/2013/04/sometimes-you-just-have-to-be-knocked.html

Love you sweet, girl.

I love that quote!

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” 

It is day 4 of the challenge with Jenni. As you can see, I am a day behind so I am making up for lost time :)

The first time I heard this quote from Maya Angelou it did something deep down inside of me. GOD has been speaking to me for what feels like forever now about the power of our tongues and the effects that it has on others. I dont know what Maya Angelou's beliefs are - whether she has a relationship with GOD or not - but GOD can use anyone, regardless of their spiritual standing with HIM, to further HIS kingdom.

I so deeply connect with this quote. I can remember so many times in my life when someone has said something, though I can't remember their words, that both made me fly and made me fall. I can remember people speaking positive words into my life that made me want to be a better person, made me feel like I could accomplish anything and made me leave feeling so uplifted. And then there were those other moments...the moments when the words that I can no longer remember seemed to gut me like a fish. I remember feeling so alone, so broken and so devastated. Many of my struggles before the LORD's healing were as a result of the deep, cavernous wounds those words left even years after being spoken.

It's amazing that even if you were to approach the word of GOD as simply just a book....aside from it's religious context...aside from the person who represents it...if you simply read it just merely as a book....you couldn't deny the value it brings to the way we approach people. It's a book who's entire focus is on dying to ourselves and putting others first.

Dont judge others.

Take the plank out of your own eye before pointing the fingers at other's faults.

Cast the first stone all those who are without error/sin/wrong doing in their own lives.

Someone hurts you - forgive them. Turn the other cheek. Give them a place to rest their heads, despite what they've done.

Our words are so powerful because it's not just what enters our ears...

it's what the words plant into our hearts - our souls.

We have the power to speak LIFE

or DEATH

to others.

I don't want to be responsible for the emotional, and potentially physical, death of another.

I want to make sure that when others remember me....

they remember I left them feeling as if they were good....loved....special...important and valuable, no matter what their pasts or presents.

I want you to know that no matter where you have come from...

no matter where you are at this moment....

no matter what you have done or are doing right now...

you MATTER.

You COUNT.

That thing called "Discomfort"

The following is a condensed list of things that...well....that make me uncomfortable.

Do you have an hour?

JK, peeps. I'll keep it to a minimal.

1. Is it sad to begin this post with Thanksgiving being the first thing on my list? It's not the holiday that makes me uncomfortable. It's certainly not the spirit of celebrating family and all the blessings we have been bestowed with during the present year. No, the thing about Thanksgiving that makes me horrible uncomfortable is.... the food. Don't let that statement confuse you. I LOVE food. But it is the PLACEMENT of food that I so uncomfortably despise. See, I have this thing. I cannot have most certain foods touch each other. So, Thanksgiving....it's worse than torture for me. Please, just throw the sack-cloth over my head and drown me in buckets of water. It's far less inhumane than permitting cream-corn to burst through the boundaries of my plate and barrage my dinner rolls.

2. Public restrooms that try to be original and find other ways to indicate the Woman's and Men's bathrooms. I get that you're attempting creativity and a sense of cleverness. But please....PLEASE try to understand that there are people like me who already struggle with the normal signs with pictures of the bald stick figure in the awkwardly-ovular pants and the seemingly identical bald-headed stick-figure wearing a triangular skirt. Heaven forbid I wear pants one day. The perplexity is too great.

3. The "Are you feeling ok today? You look tired" comment. Gee, I'm sorry I didn't wear makeup today.

4. Popsicles. How in the world do you eat them without (A) looking like you're in a really naughty video, (B) getting it ALL over you towards the end of it's life, or (C) looking like a sucker fish on the side of a tank?

5. Lastly, pictures. I never know what to do in them and I always feel SO awkward if I'm requested to do anything else other than smiling!!! "Now, everyone make a silly face!" <---stick my tongue out. That's the only "silly" face I know! Or the infamous: "Strike a model pose!" What the heck is that?!!!! I try bending my knee, resting my arm at a 90 degree angle on my hip, bringing my shoulders forward slightly, and tilting my head back.

What I think I look like doing the "model pose":

What I actually look like doing the "model" pose:

The single phrase: "you look like you have menstrual cramps" comes to mind.

I'm having SO much fun with Jenni 's challenge to blog everyday this month. She did an amazing job at finding FUN topics to do. I'm having a blast!

Until next time, fearless readers. Hugs, Kisses and everything that Glitters. xoxoxo

It's a gift

*Drum Roll Please*

I,

Bree Reynolds

am SO irrefutably,

undeniably,

unmistakeably,

AMAZINGLY

good at

..........

.............

.................

.........................

injuring myself!

It is a talent that I have mastered over the years.

A badge I wear painfully proudly!

Let me peak your visual curiousity with examples taken from the last 8 months.

Shall we?

We can start with....

That time that I bought a bike from Walmart

 (why even say more? My mistake clearly began with that decision).

My hubby and I had just moved to Oregon. Coming from Arizona where sunshine is liquid lava vomited from a fireball in the sky - we could not resist the opportunity to experience a summer day warmed by a tenderly cautious sun and the chance to be outdoors without melting! So we bought ourselves some street bikes and adventured across the Burnside Bridge to enjoy the caffeinated city of Portland. On our way back up the grueling bridge, the petal broke off of my bike in the middle of traffic and I skid along the asphalt. I ended that amazing adventure with this beauty on my elbow (that left a scar as an article of remembrance) and an injury to my ribs, thigh and stomach.

How about the time:

I walked my Dog

The thoughtful parent that I am to my furry kids gets the better of me, sometimes. I have an obsession with all things S A N D and S E A  S A L T so I impulsively decided to take my puppies with me to the beach - for the first time - by myself!!! Long story short:

My Dog (Red) + Other People's Dogs =

a pointer finger nearly amputated by a leash.

Then, there are moments when little to no effort whatsoever is required to produce the fruit of my talent.

For example:

The Time I...

Went to Sleep?

It was a normal, overcast morning. My alarm woke me up at the delightful hour of 5:30am. I pawed at my phone and with one eye barely opened, I swiped the arrow across the screen to silence the screeching. I reached for my blanket and threw the covers off me with one quick moment of my left hand! As I laid my right hand down on the bed and began to lift myself from the soft mattress in one quick movement, I felt fire speed through my veins and I let out a howl! I looked down at my right hand and to my confusion, shock and unexplainable intrigue, my eyes set upon a CLAW!

My tendons had inflamed in the middle of the night and had set themselves in the shape of a lobster-claw. I couldn't open my hand for 5 days. 

But let's not forget about the moments when I seek to "better myself" & I am uncomfortably reminded of my genetic uncoordination. Like the time I:

Went for a run

 I often think too highly of myself. It's quite similar to the concept of: "my eyes are too big for my stomach". Although, this is more like: "My-faith-in-myself-is-far-too-big-for-my-actual-capability". In this particular moment of inflated self-confidence, I made an impulsive decision to go for a run, without stretching, after a 3 week gap of not running due to being sick. It wasn't good enough to 'take it slow' and just jog on smooth concrete. I actually thought I could run the speed, length and on the terrain of an outdoor, off-street marathon. After an obviously epic failure of attempting to run UP HILL - I ended up with tendinitis in the knee and a dislocated knee cap.

And finally....the moments when my innate talents and polished skills intertwine...

the moments when inanimate objects are the TRUE villains.

Moments like the time when:

 that tree branch walked into my face

There's just no dialogue needed to capture the moment when pure, unbriddled aptitude meets the lense of a camera. 



Two-hundred-and 50!

MY LIFE 

(in 250 words or less)
(*gulp*)!

I was born in Biloxi, Mississippi. When I was about 8 years old, my parents divorced. I moved to CA to live with my Dad and when I was 9 he remarried. I grew up in a Christian home. When I was a Senior in HS, my Dad was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor. We lost everything. I moved to OH to be with family. My Dad was healed and I returned to AZ where they were currently living to be with them. I fell away from the LORD and for about 4 1/2 years I lived my own life: Sex, Drugs and Rap music, pretty much. Fought eating disorders, cutting and just the unavoidable depths of loneliness and hopelessness. In 2008, I met GOD in a REAL way - a way I never have before. I sold my life to HIM and HE has given me nothing but pure fulfillment since. I met a boy in 2009 and married him in 2010. For a barrel-full of ashes, GOD gave me a semi-truck full of beauty. My life is not without struggles and hardships, but it is always held together, protected and in the hands of a FATHER who loves me and has a future full of goodness and hope.

211 WORDS!

Whoop!!! *happy dance*

There was sooooooo much more I wanted to say but I wrote what I did w/o stopping to count the words until I was finished so I'm excited to have passed the first leg of the blog-every-day-in-may challenge!

See you tomorrow :)

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can....

  I love reading other blogger's masterpieces! It's just so much fun to learn about others in the most raw-est fashion. Blogging has been a very intimidating, sincere, humbling, challenging experience for me. I've always loved to write but it's always been for my own personal experience - never for the vulnerable amusement of others. But the thing I think I like the most about it is the "community" of blogging and the encouragement for self-discovery. I have never felt more supported in letting go and being 'real' than since I began blogging. The people I have met have been so real and so encouraging, and I thank each and every one of you for that.   I sat on this idea since early, early this morning when I read it at one of my favorite blogs (check it out here). Can I really do this? Kimberly is such an inspiration because she posts at least 4-7 times a week ALREADY! I can't even set aside the time remember to do my Friday Favorites posts every week! But she inspires me to keep plugging along and keep TRYING, which is the most important ingredient in blogging - forgiving yourself and continuing to move on.   So....despite my shaky hands, sweaty brows and that darn Australian voice in my head that keeps yelling: "YOU CAN'T DO THIS" (why Australian? Because it is simply the most lovely accent in all the world!), I'm going to TRY! I'm going to challenge myself and I'm going to try my best to blog every-day for 31 days! YIKES! But I think I can can do it!   So, here's the challenge I'm referring to - blog every day in May - inspired by the amazing Jenni!       So, wish me good luck!!!! 1st challenge to follow this post :)