My eyes are on you

I've been thinking a lot lately about the type of life I want to live.

What do I want to be remembered for?

When people show up at my funeral and are asked to give brief words about my life, what would I want them to say?

I realize that much of my life has been lived for the purpose of self-fulfillment. Although I don't think a marginal focus of self-fulfillment is bad, if it's ALL that we live for...I think we're deeply, deeply missing out on a far better purpose and mission.

If there is 1 single thing I want to be remembered for...it would be for having eyes that saw the hearts, potential and needs of others. I want to be remembered for helping others.

I think we over-think helping one another FAR too much. Or is it just me? I dont know. I often think that if I'm not traveling to Nicaragua & feeding the hungry or freeing baby seals from oil spills off the coast, that I'm not really impacting anyone. But when I think about the moments that other people helped ME in my life...and how much the every-day, normal, not overly-extravegant gestures helped to change my mood or my circumstances or my heart's condition....I realize that helping someone doesn't involve moving mountains. Helping someone is like every great and wondrous thing ever built - one stone; one brick; one piece at a time. It's not always the big things that make the largest impressions.

I'm putting my passion & my desire for purpose into action. I've created what I call the "Kindness Kard". I'm challenging myself to do at least 1 random act of kindness a week. When I perform the act of kindness, I plan of giving this card to the person I'm helping. Not so that I can get attention. But so that I can encourage others to let the light that may have dimmed inside of them, like it dimmed inside of me, shine bright.

We all have something inside of us that no one else has. We have a way of looking at the world & a contribution that makes the world better than it was the day before. But sometimes life & it's unkind mood-swings cause our hearts to become tainted and the light that resonates from that place deep down inside of us gets shut off or buried under piles of junk! But the more that we step out and dust off that old, broken strobe-light & we shine that sucker on someone else, the easier it is to reach down inside of ourselves, grab a handful of that junk & THROW.IT.THE.HECK.OUT! And the moment that light starts to peak through that junk, the brighter our circumstances get....the brighter our attitudes get...and the brighter life is forced to get because darkness just cant stay darkness when there's light around!

So if you find yourself tired of giving yourself so much dang attention....try giving yourself the cold shoulder & focus on others for awhile. Download my Kindness Kard, totally free of charge and whenever you perform a random act of kindness - whether it's paying for the multi-tasking momma's stuff at the grocery store or leaving a $20 on the dude's window shield at Starbucks who got a little huffy with the barista in line, perhaps because he lost his job today & doesn't know how he'll provide the sole-finances for his wife and 3 little ones at home; or maybe it's after giving your co-worker a ride to work this week because her car broke down and she's working 3 jobs just to pay for rent......

Whoever it is...whatever you do.....do something kind for them and pass them this card. Maybe write a little note on the back of it just to encourage them to remember what an amazing person they are & how much GOD loves them.

If you'd like to share a story about someone that you blessed with a random act of kindness and a Kindness Kard, I'd love to hear about it. Post it on your blog & link it back to this, leave me a comment below, or send me an email at fullyaccepted@gmail.com. But please remember that we should never, ever show kindness to others for the purpose of winning "kudos" or "that a boys" or "youre so nice"'s from others. I believe that when we do kind things for others, it should be with the desire to take our focus off of ourselves and give back to others what GOD has given to us. It says in HIS word that when we do things for the praise of man, that is the only blessing we receive from it. So bless others, with the expectation of being blessed back, and when you have some blessings to spare - share your story. Do twice as many acts in the dark as you do in the light. :)

Be remembered for remembering others.
It's the absolute best way to be.

Shadows...

So many times I've read this story in the Bible but no time previously has it stuck with me so fiercely. I will make a confession to you - I have found it difficult in the past to related to stories in the Bible. Differences in culture, differences in customs, differences in political ideals. But as I'm praying for more wisdom and insight into GOD's word, I'm seeing so much more than I ever saw before and it's all becoming so much more relevant and personal.

Have you ever felt like a shadow on a wall? Like the light is cast on someone else & the darkness always favors you? Have you ever felt second-best; always coming up behind someone else? Have you ever felt like maybe love is meant for everyone else & that your fate is to grow accustomed and content with being alone?

I can imagine that Leah must have felt most of those things her whole life. Her younger sister - better looking. Her younger sister - first to receive a proposal. Her younger sister - scores a man so deeply infatuated & in love with her that he works for SEVEN YEARS for her hand in marriage. As if that wasn't enough to make you feel second-rate, when it was time to hand over the "prized pony" to her suitor....Daddy dearest hands over her (Leah), instead, because "it's tradition that you marry the first born girl first." It wasn't love that compelled Jacob to marry Leah. It was out of "obligation" & "if you don't you can't have what you really want".

The day every girl hopes, wishes & plans for - her wedding day - & she still comes up second best. 

Oh how I've felt like a Leah so many times in my life. If the story ended there, I would get up right off this couch and head for the "double double, marshmallow, nutter-butter, caramel sauce, whipped topping, mint choco-cookie cream" ice cream in my freezer, turn on the "Notebook" and call it a night. 

But GOD's love never leaves a broken heart in shambles. There was one thing - the most important thing - the greatest gift a woman could ever bestow in that day & age....and where Leah so many times before came in second place....GOD handed her the gold metal & pinned that puppy right on her blazer. "When the LORD saw that Leah was hated, HE opened her womb". There was nothing of a greater honor in their time but to give birth to children - especially males. She bore 4 sons before Rachel's womb was ever opened.

Leah may never have won the affections of her husband. But she won the attention, heart & mercy of her FATHER. 

If you've ever felt overlooked....

If you've ever felt "second-best"....

If you've ever felt unseen, unheard, unknown or unwanted....

know, daughter, that you've won the heart, attention and never-ceasing affection of GOD & that HIS arms are out-stretched, prepared to give you the greatest gifts anyone could ever bestow.

You are the apple of HIS eye.

Short & Sweet

It's been just shy of 2 months since I last posted a blog. When I shut down town and slapped the "out of business" sign on my blogging a few months ago, I wasn't really sure if it would ever resurface again. I knew I loved doing it but I felt I wasn't really sure where it was going.

I didn't want to return to blogging if it was just going to be used for my benefit. That doesn't mean that I can't have fun doing it. But it means that the underlying purpose of WHY I blog can't be for my own satisfaction, gain or personal achievement. If I was going to blog again, I wanted to have a reason for doing it and the only reason I was willing to settle for was for the purpose of helping others. When people read my blogs, I want them to enjoy what they're reading and have fun & interact and have a good time. But more then that, I want people to walk away with something that makes them a different person. I recognize that I personally cannot change anyone. Nothing I say or do of my own strength and accord can change someone. But what I can do is I can be a vessel for the one that CAN change people. When I blog, I can blog with the purpose to be a mouthpiece for the One who changes hearts, minds and lives.

My new blog title is one that aligns with the vision and purpose I want my blog to have. I could go into full detail as to all that GOD's been showing me in my own life these last 2 months & how this title came about but in the smallest nut shell possible - we live so much of our lives without ever understanding just how special and important we are to GOD. We wander through so much of life weighed down by our mistakes that we miss the one thing that GOD spoke over us from the very moment we were created, already knowing all that we would do, good and bad - that we were accepted; we were accepted, approved & welcomed. 

If we would just live in that - how much more purposeful & fulfilled we would live our lives.

Anyways, I'm really glad to be back & I look forward to all that's to come.

Seasons

To you - 

to those who have made 'hello's' feel like that warm country dinner shared on a windy, country night;

to those who have inspired me & shared your stories with me;

to those who have mentored me and encouraged me on this journey;

my sincerest Thank You's. 

I am forever grateful for the new friendships I've made in the journey of "blogging".

I am forever thankful for the already-present friendships that grew deeper through sharing life's stories together.

I am grateful for readers - big or small, many or few - who met me along this path and cheered from beside me on the road.

I just want to say Thank You.

Thank you for being YOU -

because YOU are so ridiculously special.

This will be the last blog I post here on breewith2e-s. Some seasons bring forth harvest each season. Some seasons live to birth just once. 

I don't know when, or if, this season will come around again. But for now, we must part our ways.

I've never been good with "Goodbye's", "The End's", or "Until Next Time's".

I'm a sap for "Happily Ever After's", "Forever and Ever's" and "Forever and Always'".

So I wish you all the Happiest Ever After,

and the best of Forevers.

With all my love, admiration, and deepest appreciations.

xoxoxo

Encore

It's called Thanksgiving.

No, not the day we celebrate on the fourth Thursday of November each year. The day we stuff our faces with deliciousness and sit with our jeans unbuttoned and our shirts stained with pumpkin pie filling. 

I'm talking about the Thanksgiving that happens inside of a person. The emotion that causes your heart to melt. The over-welming sense of submission caused by the reality that the blessings of your life are so many and the things you've done to deserve them are so absent and few.

When I think of my life, this is the only word I can use to describe the aftermath of the realization I have in retrospect to it. It's the summation of the addition. It's the expression of the combination. 

It's the lyrics to my heart's song.

It's a production inspired by the cast -

my GOD,

my husband,

my family,

my friends.

It's an Encore ever going. 

It's an encore, courtesy of YOU.

Many thanks

As many (or few...however many of you there are) of you read on my last post, I was nominated for a Liebster Award. I am so thankful to the sweet little gal over at A fanciful creature for nominating me. One of the absolute best things about blogging is all the people you meet and have the opportunity to get to know. Blogging is a very raw expression of a person and so you really have the opportunity of getting to know people beyond a surface-level "know". It's nice being part of a community of people who are brave enough to share their vulnerability with others. I'm thankful for people like that. You learn so much from them.

So, thank you so much, Tiffany, for your nomination. I really do appreciate it very much.

Some background info on the Liebster Award (copied from Tiffany's blog):

The Liebster Award is given to up and coming bloggers who have less than 200 followers. So, what is a Liebster?  The meaning: Liebster is German and means sweetest, kindest, nicest, dearest, beloved, lovely, kind, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing, and welcome. 

Thats what makes receiving this so much sweeter. It's the thought that someone sees you in such a sweet light. Makes your cheeks turn up and turn shades of rosy! (thats the cheeks on your face, of course!)

The Rules:1. Each person must post 11 things about themselves.
2. Answer the questions that the tagger set for you plus create 11 questions for the people you’ve tagged to answer.
3. Choose 11 people to nominate and link them in your post.
4. Go to their page and tell them.
5. No tag backs!

Let's see what I can accomplish here:

11 Things about me:

1. I love taking showers. I'm not a very big "bath" person but in the same way that people are "bath" people, I'm a "shower" people. If I could stay ALL DAY in a shower, I happily would.

2. Nothing excites me more than a hand-written letter. I don't know why - but I really, really love them.

3. I am terrible at getting things out in the mail on time. It's an AWFUL problem of mine that I am working on fixing. I typically get things out in the mail like 2-3 weeks after they should have originally been in there. *hangs head in defeat*

4. I played the Tuba in Junior High. I honestly dont even remember how in the world I ever got talked into or decided to play it. But I played it for close to a year until I switched to the clarinet. 

5. My favorite color is black & white. 

Yep. You read that right - black & white is my favorite color.

I dont consider them to be a combination of 2 colors. If they're mixed together, it's one color.

6. I have never broken a bone in my body. I fractured several bones in my face in a car accident but I'm thankful that I've never fully and completely broken any bones.

7. I officially sleep with 4 pillows - 2 under my head, 1 between my legs and 1 in my arms. It drives me absolutely crazy. But if I don't have all 4 of them...I don't sleep.

8. I once got an apple stuck in my mouth....like a pig on a serving platter. Yeah...I swore I'd NEVER tell that story....but....the things you do for blogs, right? Yep. Got it stuck - top and lower teeth unable to move - unable to dislodge it for a good 5 minutes. My mother offered no assistance in removing it. She just sat across the table, laughing, tears streaming down her face. This was my childhood.

9. I am a terrible procrastinator. The worst. I'll tell you more about that tomorrow....

10. I believe the absolute best in other people. But I struggle with seeing it in myself. I'm thankful I have the Bible to remind me of who someone else thinks I am. Sometimes you just need to hear that someone recklessly loves you and sees something in you that you cant see in yourself.

10. I have the worlds best friends. I really, really do. I went through almost all my life wishing for friends like the ones I have now. I make no exaggeration when I saw that I thank GOD for them regularly. My life is beautiful, in the largest part, because of the people I call my "friends".

11. I wanted to post this one first but thought it might be a little too cliche so I saved it for the last, which is always the best: I could not think of a better man to have for my husband. He is the world's best person in so many ways. 

Questions by Tiffany:

1. Do you have a bad habit? What is it? When I'm excited, I always interrupt people. Not because I'm trying to be rude...but I'm just so excited about what they're talking about. 
2. Which superhero would you like to be? Popeye. I want huge muscular Biceps.
3. Name a skill you wish you were good at. Sewing. There are so many things I would LOVE to do if I could just learn how to sew.
4. If you could vacation at one place in the entire world free of charge, where would it be? PARIS!
5. Are you brave enough to share one of your weakest strength/trait/character flaw? Come on, don’t be a wuss. I am terrible at being diligent. It is by far my absolute worst personality/character flaw. I hardly ever stick to anything I start.
6. A lesson that you learned in life. Dont live your life to please others. It makes you empty in the long run.
7. What is one of your pet peeves? Being interrupted. Funny, huh, considering #1? lol
8. If you could send a one sentence note to yourself 8 years ago, what would it say? Don’t cheat. Don't let other's misconceptions of you define who you believe yourself to be.
9. If you could be any animal, which would it be and why? A lioness. She guards, protects and wears her strength in the best form of grace. 
10. How do you unwind after a long day? Curl up next to my hubbie and our puppies and watch a good movie
11. Since you were brave enough with question #5, what is your strong/positive trait? If you weren’t brave, go back to #5 and do not pass Go. I'd say my strongest, most positive trait is encouraging others. I love making others believe the best of themselves. It's not something I fake or fabricate or lie to others about. It's not something I do, at all, to get praise in return. Something just happens inside of me when I see someone pick themselves up and keep walking. I was once extended hands that helped to pick me up. I know how far that gesture goes.

Questions for you:

1. If you could have one body part replaced by robotic mechanics, what would it be and why?

2. If you were in the Matrix, would you take the blue pill or the red pill?

3. What time is your bed time?

4. What one thing would you re-do in life if you could?

5. What embarrassing nickname did you have growing up and how did you get it?

6. What motivated you to start a blog?

7. If your readers snagged your iphone from you, would they see more pictures of you in your gallery or of others?

8. What is your daily 'getting ready' routine look like?

9. If you had the choice, would you be a Hollywood Movie/Rock Star, a Fairy-Tale Princess or an Undercover CIA Operative with to many Aliases to count?

10.  What experience or encounter with a person helped you to grow the most into the person that you are?

11. Of all the blogs you've written, which has been your favorite to write and why?

Because I'm really new to blogging and haven't really established a "following", I'm going to do Rules#3-5 a little differently.

I'm going to let my READERS nominate their favorite "followers" for this award! Just drop them a comment letting them know you've nominated them, include the link to my post here, and then leave them a comment on my post about why you think they're so awesome! I believe in the power of the people. So let your voice be heard!

xoxoxoxo

Wowzers

WOWZERS is right!

Where in the world have I been???? 

I must say...I have missed blogging SO much.

It's crazy how you can start something and not really have any idea where it will take you. You think it means nothing - what's writing a few things down on a computer, right? 

But then you realize...you miss the moments spent in front of the computer assigning real words to nameless emotions and pealing back the scaly-skin of "feelings" and exposing yourself to what really lays within you.

It's amazing how quickly blogging can become a part of you.

So....

where the heck have I been?

What the heck have I been doing?

Time to insert some bullet-point paragraphs, my friends. 

(My organizational OCD is elated right now)

• First things first - hubby and I celebrated our 3 year anniversary this year - celebrated it in May. We took a trip out to Thousand Acres (literally exactly what it sounds like - a 1000 acre field) and we let our 1 1/2 year old Cattle Dog pups off the leash for the first time. I love exploring new places, especially if they are outside in wide-open spaces like woods or fields or oceans. We took the most lovely walk, held hands, smooched, ran with our puppies. It was really just such a perfect get-away. 

Later that night we went out to eat at a classy place here in Portland on the 34th (?) floor of a major downtown building and we sipped on Coca Cola's and ate the world's best appetizers. Talked about work and life and love. Got all dressed up. It was a very romantic 45 minutes :)

Then we enjoyed late night movies and snacks - my all-time favorite thing to do with the hubs. 

Love is simply the most wonderful thing in the world when you share it with the right person. I'm so incredibly lucky to have the opportunity to share love everyday with this man.

• Secondly, I celebrated my 27th birthday this year. Hubby took me out to my favorite restaurant in all the world: Olive Garden, and spoiled me with chocolate cake lit by the sparkle of a single candle flame.

 He went all-out this year and gave me mullah (thats "money", for you less gangster readers) to purchase a Nike Running Band which I couldn't be more excited about. I made the very personally-frightening but equally challenging commitment to sign up and participate in my very first 5k this coming September. So having something to track my performance is a big fat A+++ in my little black book of all things awesome-sauce. As if all that wasn't enough lovin', my sweet, sweet friends - the Tarter's - baked me some birthday goodies. This woman and her baking skills are 

A-MA-ZING. 

• Ok, third bullet-pointed paragraph (are you loving these as much as I am, yet?): The next big thing to take my attention away from blogging was our trip to Coronado Island. Ok, so my hubby INSISTS it's not an "island" because a small part of it is technically still attached to a bridge that connects San Diego to Coronado but....since I'm the one blogging here. I get to tell the story the way that I want to tell the story. 

So, there we were on an island.....

We went to visit the Reynold's family for a family reunion. I had the amazing privilege of meeting family I had never met before and honestly just getting to know those I have so much better. I had the best time loving and being loved on by my hubby's family. It was such a wonderful trip.

• The week before we left for Coronado I found out that I was blessed with a new job. I am now, officially, the Administrative Assistant for the Staples Distribution Center here in Portland, OR. I could not be MORE excited. I am so, so thankful to GOD for HIS favor. I feel incredibly blessed to be working with such a reputable, well-known and profitable company. The people I am meeting really seem just so genuine and honestly happy to work there. I completed day 3 there today and I am very excited to complete many, many more. I am very humbled to have this opportunity. I owe it all to the favor and goodness of GOD. HE is so, so good.

• Lastly, I received such an amazing honor this week. I opened my email this week to find an amazing blogger named Tiffany from A Fanciful Creature nominated me for a Liebster Award! If you dont know what that is, check out Tiffany's post about it here. I will post my official response and answers about it this weekend when I have some dedicated time to sit down and really invest time in expressing my absolute sincere appreciation and "awe" for being thought of to be nominated. But, I just want to say (in preface for my post this coming weekend): Thank you SOOOOOOO much, Tiffany, for taking the time out of your day to do something so thoughtful and kind. I appreciate your sweet gesture so much. I really look forward to getting to know you and your blog much better.

I have missed you all!!!! I promise to return to my more punctual, routine-blogging lifestyle very shortly. Did I mention I also started a summer course at Portland Bible College? Yeah...I'm juggling homework, as well. Oh, and 2 bible study classes throughout the week...while training for my marathon...while learning a new job...while taking care of my hubby and house and pups....

while un-crossing my eyes and letting go of the handfuls of hair in my fits. enjoying all the blessings in my life. :)

Hugs, love and other glittery stuff, as always!

xoxoxoxooxglitterxoxooxoxox

Pillars

"An essential part of something that provides support."

No definition better describes the two women in my life who I so deeply love and admire.

In honor of Mother's Day (yesterday): letters to my Moms.

My Mom - Sharon

Dear Mom,

I tear up as I write this, not because it brings me pain but because I so deeply, deeply appreciate you. Our journey together is a story more beautiful, adventurous, and courageous than any story ever told. If chip-stained fingers turned the pages of our life's book, they would undoubtedly caress sheets torn and crinkled by moments of selfishness, rebellion and unforgiveness. But as they gently turned past the weathered pages, they would find a story so rich in redemption, restoration and admiration that their hearts would swell with the love that we share for each other. No matter how far her cub strays from her den, a momma lioness never sleeps until she finds it. To call you a "pillar" in my life hardly does justice to what value you truly bring. I remember every word of advice you ever gave me. Every tear I ever watched you cry over me. I remember every hug you ever gave me, pressing me so closely to you as to shelter and guard me from pain. I remember every smile you ever gave me, at every school play, every softball game, every graduation and every event of my childhood. I remember every "I don't have dumb children. My children can do whatever they set their minds to. Your my child. That means you're smart and that means you can do this." I remember every laugh we ever shared over bikes I fell off of, words I mis-pronounced, fashion pieces I put together and inside jokes we developed. I remember every break-up you ever talked me through, every "you're better than this" speech you gave me, every knee you rested your hand on and that look you always gave me - that "no matter what you do, you'll never stop being my daughter" look. What I remember most is who you ARE - the things I so desperately try to emulate in my own life.

You are true to your word. You always told me - "all you ever have in this world is your word, so make it honest."

You are a stone of faith. Your life has been one of so much loss. But the one thing you've refused to lose is your faith in GOD. Of all the things you've ever taught me, this was the one you taught with the least amount of words. It was learned by observing your life.

You are a lioness - ever gentle, ever watchful, ever protective of your cubs. Even in the moments of such rebellion in my life, you never ceased to watch over me. Even when it broke you, you never stopped fighting for me. Even in moments when you made mistakes, you owned them. Our story is full of mistakes made on both sides. But the one consistent story line is your inability to cease fighting for your children.

I love you, Mom.

In celebration of Mother's Day....and in celebration of the admiration I hold everyday in my heart for you.

I love you.

***********************************************************************

My Mother-in-Law Love - Carol

I genuinely have to be the luckiest girl in the world to have a Mother-In-Law like you. To say I "honor" you on Mother's Day would be an understatement. How do I say thank you and contribute the right amount of honor to a woman who brought me the greatest gift I could ever, ever ask for - my husband. How do I say thank you for the nights you stayed up praying for him? How do I honor you for the seeds of forgiveness, compassion, loyalty, faithfulness, and obedience to the LORD that you planted in him? How do I celebrate you for the words of wisdom you spoke into him when we met and faced our fair share of challenges prior to our marriage? How do I properly pay tribute to a woman who kept me accountable in the area of purity prior to our marriage - an area that has bore so much amazing fruit in our marriage as a result of that accountability? What words could I possibly use to convey my deepest, most sincere appreciation for the acceptance you showed me, despite my ever-so-blatantly-obvious spotted past, when I first came into your and your family's life?

You gave me the greatest gifts a Mother ever could - the gift of her son; the trust to love, honor, respect and care for him; and acceptance into your heart.

I miss every graceful hug. I miss every Sunday family lunch. I miss every holiday Reynold's Family Recipe Noodle-making lesson. I miss the wisdom I always gained when we had our talks.

I'm forever thankful for the woman who raised my husband to be the man that he is today. He's the amazing husband he is largly because of you.

Happy Mother's Day to a woman I so completely adore.

I love you.

Re-Do

Hello, old friends.

I know it's been an unusually long time since my last post. I was in the middle of challenging myself with Jenni's blog everyday in May challenge and I was really, really enjoying it. It's the first challenge I've ever really done since I started blogging not-so-long-ago and it was really expanding my horizons and getting me exposed to thinking out-side of the blog (did you like that? i know....cheesy).

So, why did I stop?

Well....
the longer you walk with GOD and the longer you expose a vulnerable heart to HIM, the more HE changes you. You start to be able to hear HIS "voice". That isn't meant in some spooky, over-spiritual, Schizophrenic kind-of-way. It isn't meant to freak you out or make you feel like you must be doing something wrong if you're a Christian and you aren't "hearing" voices in the room next to you. GOD's voice isn't like a scary movie with a baritone voice echoing in the hallways, in your closets and under your bed. GOD speaks to everyone differently. Sometimes it's just that feeling in your gut that tells you that you're going to be ok when you're having a bad day. Sometimes it's that friend that says something so powerfully to you that you wonder how they got a hold of your diary. For me, HE speaks to me in writing, mostly. Thoughts that I just know aren't my own will start popping in my head and I just write them down and when I read back over it - yep, I know that's GOD.

As you spend more and more time with HIM, HE starts to "talk" to you more about your life. Sometimes it will be about an area of your life HE wants to change for the better. Sometimes it's about the way you talk to your spouse or your parents or your children. Sometimes it's simply just to say how much HE loves you <--- those are always my favorite talks.

This whole month GOD has been talking to me. More than I think I've ever heard HIM before. Without sharing a lot of things that I don't feel released to share, HE has been working on the way that I have thought about myself, what my future holds for me and the way that I live my life currently. It's not that I haven't lived a life honorable to HIM. It's just that HE wants me to take my honor to the next level. You can be a Christian and be dry in areas that HE wants you flowing in.

What does all this have to do with the first paragraph of this post? Well, it has to do with the fact that sometimes GOD even speaks to us about the littlest of things in our life such as social media. I started out this blog for a very specific purpose. I wanted to use it to touch the lives of those who read it - to energize them, to encourage them, to speak light into their darkness and hope into their hopeless. I wanted GOD to direct my posts. Not because I want to be over-spiritual. No, "spirituality" is not a thing. "Spirituality" is an identification with GOD's Holy Spirit and that means I have to walk where HE walks and talk what HE talks.

It's not that I think my "Friday Favorites" posts are wrong to post or that doing this challenge Jenni posted was somehow "wrong". GOD isn't a dictator. HE isn't a fun-sucker. HE didn't tell me to stop posting those things. I think HE just renewed in me a realization of what social media impacts. It reaches out soooo much further than we think it does. It speaks to more people than we even intend, sometimes. So I think I just have a renewed awareness - a renewed 'vision' and focus for what I want my blog to be. It doesn't mean I won't post more 'funny' posts or that suddenly it will become serious and stuffy and boring. It just means that I'm trying to stop the horse and turn the reins over to GOD. HE does so much better at this stuff than I do. It just means that I don't want to operate/post on pure emotions, anymore. My FB is even getting an over-haul. I've used that for so many years now to "vent" on and take political stances on and shamefully and embarrassingly - admittedly - used for a source of gossip. FB has become a mechanism for people to open their lives so vulnerably that satan has such an easy job, now, of supplying so much material for gossip. It's like sugar to cancer cells - the cells keep getting larger and larger because they have so much to feed off of. FB is a feeding trough for a morbidly obese gossip monster.

I guess I share all this just simply to say.... I am going to be more purposeful in my use of social media. If our lives are a "vapor"....I want to make sure I'm leaving the largest puddles I possibly can before it's all gone.

F E A R - That nasty 4 letter word

I used to live a great amount of my life in fear.

Fear that I would die a terrible, painful death.

Fear that if I ate food I would gain weight and never be able to get it off.

Fear that if I walked anywhere outside by myself I would get abducted.

I used to lock all the windows and doors of my house in fear that someone would break in and kill me.

My whole life was driven by fear.

Fear of failure being my largest obstacle.

It killed every dream I had.

I never completed college because I feared I couldn't do it.

I never pursued photography & journalism - my absolute favorite things in High School.

I discontinued Softball in fear that I couldn't get better and was dragging down my team.

I dropped out of dance class because I couldn't dance one dance. Couldn't get the moves down and feared failing long-term so I quit before I did.

Fear ran my life.

It smothered every dream I ever had.

I spent 21+ years in fear of failing...and I failed in so many areas because of that fear.

Life doesn't have to be that way.

We don't have to be afraid to live life - happily, prosperously, healthily, etc.

One night about 4 years ago, I asked that if GOD were real - could HE take away the fear in my life?

HE was real...and HE did.

I can't tell you that fear never crosses my mind.

But what I CAN tell you is that I leave the windows open at night, now.

I run outside on my own.

I eat food and I gain weight. I exercise and I lose it.

I'm in college and I passed the last 2 semesters with A's.

When I save up for a nice camera, I'll pursue that idea for photography I've held onto all these years.

When fear tries to make it's way into my mind...

when it tries to take my dreams/desires/future captive, again...

I remember what GOD says in the Bible - what HE promises to anyone who asks HIM and believes HIM to do it:

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

 

What I do

What I do -

I work for a corporation

I answer phones

I document calls

I resolve conflicts

I mediate between departments

I train employees

I am an analyst of systems

I have bad days

I have good days

(sorry these last 2 posts aren't more interesting. it's been a busy last couple of days!)



Hugs, Kisses and Shout-outs

Day 6 - (yes, I'm a day behind! lol) - Profess your love for a fellow blogger

How is this even possible when I have SO many bloggers that I just love so much? Is it really necessary to pick just ONE?

There are sooo many great blogs I am challenged by, laugh with, cry with, get down on my knees and pray because of. So many blogs that have healed deep wounds hidden beneath the facade of normalcy and 'togetherness'. How can you admire only one?

Some of my favorite bloggers are:

//Kerri//
created
diaryofabrwneyedgirl
http://www.bexadiary.com/

But one up-and-coming blogger, I'd love to dedicate a special shout-out to. She has an INCREDIBLE testimony of the LORD's preservation, grace and forgiveness. What I love so much about her is that she has the boldness of a tiger in the humble presentation of a doe. She is a powerful woman with an amazing calling on her life. She shares her journey so vulnerably with listening ears. She speaks wisdom beyond her years. I'm really just so excited to see what GOD uses her blog to do. She's a powerful woman. Check her blog out here: http://stevieraewonderful.blogspot.com/2013/04/sometimes-you-just-have-to-be-knocked.html

Love you sweet, girl.

I love that quote!

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” 

It is day 4 of the challenge with Jenni. As you can see, I am a day behind so I am making up for lost time :)

The first time I heard this quote from Maya Angelou it did something deep down inside of me. GOD has been speaking to me for what feels like forever now about the power of our tongues and the effects that it has on others. I dont know what Maya Angelou's beliefs are - whether she has a relationship with GOD or not - but GOD can use anyone, regardless of their spiritual standing with HIM, to further HIS kingdom.

I so deeply connect with this quote. I can remember so many times in my life when someone has said something, though I can't remember their words, that both made me fly and made me fall. I can remember people speaking positive words into my life that made me want to be a better person, made me feel like I could accomplish anything and made me leave feeling so uplifted. And then there were those other moments...the moments when the words that I can no longer remember seemed to gut me like a fish. I remember feeling so alone, so broken and so devastated. Many of my struggles before the LORD's healing were as a result of the deep, cavernous wounds those words left even years after being spoken.

It's amazing that even if you were to approach the word of GOD as simply just a book....aside from it's religious context...aside from the person who represents it...if you simply read it just merely as a book....you couldn't deny the value it brings to the way we approach people. It's a book who's entire focus is on dying to ourselves and putting others first.

Dont judge others.

Take the plank out of your own eye before pointing the fingers at other's faults.

Cast the first stone all those who are without error/sin/wrong doing in their own lives.

Someone hurts you - forgive them. Turn the other cheek. Give them a place to rest their heads, despite what they've done.

Our words are so powerful because it's not just what enters our ears...

it's what the words plant into our hearts - our souls.

We have the power to speak LIFE

or DEATH

to others.

I don't want to be responsible for the emotional, and potentially physical, death of another.

I want to make sure that when others remember me....

they remember I left them feeling as if they were good....loved....special...important and valuable, no matter what their pasts or presents.

I want you to know that no matter where you have come from...

no matter where you are at this moment....

no matter what you have done or are doing right now...

you MATTER.

You COUNT.

That thing called "Discomfort"

The following is a condensed list of things that...well....that make me uncomfortable.

Do you have an hour?

JK, peeps. I'll keep it to a minimal.

1. Is it sad to begin this post with Thanksgiving being the first thing on my list? It's not the holiday that makes me uncomfortable. It's certainly not the spirit of celebrating family and all the blessings we have been bestowed with during the present year. No, the thing about Thanksgiving that makes me horrible uncomfortable is.... the food. Don't let that statement confuse you. I LOVE food. But it is the PLACEMENT of food that I so uncomfortably despise. See, I have this thing. I cannot have most certain foods touch each other. So, Thanksgiving....it's worse than torture for me. Please, just throw the sack-cloth over my head and drown me in buckets of water. It's far less inhumane than permitting cream-corn to burst through the boundaries of my plate and barrage my dinner rolls.

2. Public restrooms that try to be original and find other ways to indicate the Woman's and Men's bathrooms. I get that you're attempting creativity and a sense of cleverness. But please....PLEASE try to understand that there are people like me who already struggle with the normal signs with pictures of the bald stick figure in the awkwardly-ovular pants and the seemingly identical bald-headed stick-figure wearing a triangular skirt. Heaven forbid I wear pants one day. The perplexity is too great.

3. The "Are you feeling ok today? You look tired" comment. Gee, I'm sorry I didn't wear makeup today.

4. Popsicles. How in the world do you eat them without (A) looking like you're in a really naughty video, (B) getting it ALL over you towards the end of it's life, or (C) looking like a sucker fish on the side of a tank?

5. Lastly, pictures. I never know what to do in them and I always feel SO awkward if I'm requested to do anything else other than smiling!!! "Now, everyone make a silly face!" <---stick my tongue out. That's the only "silly" face I know! Or the infamous: "Strike a model pose!" What the heck is that?!!!! I try bending my knee, resting my arm at a 90 degree angle on my hip, bringing my shoulders forward slightly, and tilting my head back.

What I think I look like doing the "model pose":

What I actually look like doing the "model" pose:

The single phrase: "you look like you have menstrual cramps" comes to mind.

I'm having SO much fun with Jenni 's challenge to blog everyday this month. She did an amazing job at finding FUN topics to do. I'm having a blast!

Until next time, fearless readers. Hugs, Kisses and everything that Glitters. xoxoxo

It's a gift

*Drum Roll Please*

I,

Bree Reynolds

am SO irrefutably,

undeniably,

unmistakeably,

AMAZINGLY

good at

..........

.............

.................

.........................

injuring myself!

It is a talent that I have mastered over the years.

A badge I wear painfully proudly!

Let me peak your visual curiousity with examples taken from the last 8 months.

Shall we?

We can start with....

That time that I bought a bike from Walmart

 (why even say more? My mistake clearly began with that decision).

My hubby and I had just moved to Oregon. Coming from Arizona where sunshine is liquid lava vomited from a fireball in the sky - we could not resist the opportunity to experience a summer day warmed by a tenderly cautious sun and the chance to be outdoors without melting! So we bought ourselves some street bikes and adventured across the Burnside Bridge to enjoy the caffeinated city of Portland. On our way back up the grueling bridge, the petal broke off of my bike in the middle of traffic and I skid along the asphalt. I ended that amazing adventure with this beauty on my elbow (that left a scar as an article of remembrance) and an injury to my ribs, thigh and stomach.

How about the time:

I walked my Dog

The thoughtful parent that I am to my furry kids gets the better of me, sometimes. I have an obsession with all things S A N D and S E A  S A L T so I impulsively decided to take my puppies with me to the beach - for the first time - by myself!!! Long story short:

My Dog (Red) + Other People's Dogs =

a pointer finger nearly amputated by a leash.

Then, there are moments when little to no effort whatsoever is required to produce the fruit of my talent.

For example:

The Time I...

Went to Sleep?

It was a normal, overcast morning. My alarm woke me up at the delightful hour of 5:30am. I pawed at my phone and with one eye barely opened, I swiped the arrow across the screen to silence the screeching. I reached for my blanket and threw the covers off me with one quick moment of my left hand! As I laid my right hand down on the bed and began to lift myself from the soft mattress in one quick movement, I felt fire speed through my veins and I let out a howl! I looked down at my right hand and to my confusion, shock and unexplainable intrigue, my eyes set upon a CLAW!

My tendons had inflamed in the middle of the night and had set themselves in the shape of a lobster-claw. I couldn't open my hand for 5 days. 

But let's not forget about the moments when I seek to "better myself" & I am uncomfortably reminded of my genetic uncoordination. Like the time I:

Went for a run

 I often think too highly of myself. It's quite similar to the concept of: "my eyes are too big for my stomach". Although, this is more like: "My-faith-in-myself-is-far-too-big-for-my-actual-capability". In this particular moment of inflated self-confidence, I made an impulsive decision to go for a run, without stretching, after a 3 week gap of not running due to being sick. It wasn't good enough to 'take it slow' and just jog on smooth concrete. I actually thought I could run the speed, length and on the terrain of an outdoor, off-street marathon. After an obviously epic failure of attempting to run UP HILL - I ended up with tendinitis in the knee and a dislocated knee cap.

And finally....the moments when my innate talents and polished skills intertwine...

the moments when inanimate objects are the TRUE villains.

Moments like the time when:

 that tree branch walked into my face

There's just no dialogue needed to capture the moment when pure, unbriddled aptitude meets the lense of a camera. 



Two-hundred-and 50!

MY LIFE 

(in 250 words or less)
(*gulp*)!

I was born in Biloxi, Mississippi. When I was about 8 years old, my parents divorced. I moved to CA to live with my Dad and when I was 9 he remarried. I grew up in a Christian home. When I was a Senior in HS, my Dad was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor. We lost everything. I moved to OH to be with family. My Dad was healed and I returned to AZ where they were currently living to be with them. I fell away from the LORD and for about 4 1/2 years I lived my own life: Sex, Drugs and Rap music, pretty much. Fought eating disorders, cutting and just the unavoidable depths of loneliness and hopelessness. In 2008, I met GOD in a REAL way - a way I never have before. I sold my life to HIM and HE has given me nothing but pure fulfillment since. I met a boy in 2009 and married him in 2010. For a barrel-full of ashes, GOD gave me a semi-truck full of beauty. My life is not without struggles and hardships, but it is always held together, protected and in the hands of a FATHER who loves me and has a future full of goodness and hope.

211 WORDS!

Whoop!!! *happy dance*

There was sooooooo much more I wanted to say but I wrote what I did w/o stopping to count the words until I was finished so I'm excited to have passed the first leg of the blog-every-day-in-may challenge!

See you tomorrow :)

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can....

  I love reading other blogger's masterpieces! It's just so much fun to learn about others in the most raw-est fashion. Blogging has been a very intimidating, sincere, humbling, challenging experience for me. I've always loved to write but it's always been for my own personal experience - never for the vulnerable amusement of others. But the thing I think I like the most about it is the "community" of blogging and the encouragement for self-discovery. I have never felt more supported in letting go and being 'real' than since I began blogging. The people I have met have been so real and so encouraging, and I thank each and every one of you for that.   I sat on this idea since early, early this morning when I read it at one of my favorite blogs (check it out here). Can I really do this? Kimberly is such an inspiration because she posts at least 4-7 times a week ALREADY! I can't even set aside the time remember to do my Friday Favorites posts every week! But she inspires me to keep plugging along and keep TRYING, which is the most important ingredient in blogging - forgiving yourself and continuing to move on.   So....despite my shaky hands, sweaty brows and that darn Australian voice in my head that keeps yelling: "YOU CAN'T DO THIS" (why Australian? Because it is simply the most lovely accent in all the world!), I'm going to TRY! I'm going to challenge myself and I'm going to try my best to blog every-day for 31 days! YIKES! But I think I can can do it!   So, here's the challenge I'm referring to - blog every day in May - inspired by the amazing Jenni!       So, wish me good luck!!!! 1st challenge to follow this post :)

Bree's Babble

Today is Tuesday. It's not as bad as Mondays. It's not as anxious as Wednesdays. It's not as awesome as Fridays. It's just kind of like that warm glass of hot cocoa with just the right amount of marshmallows on that not-too-cold but no-where-near-hot kind of sweater and jeans day. It's just.

/////

I wonder how some days my hair can look so good and then other days it can look so terribly when I do the same exact thing to it every day! How does this occur?

/////

Will I ever stop craving sugar? Seriously. When they perform an autopsy on me one day, they're going to open me up and pure cane sugar is just going to pour right out of me.

/////

I realized (but didn't) how having puppies would be so similar to having children. But seriously....it is ridiculously close. They poop...you have to clean it up. They throw tantrums, they break things, they hog the ENTIRE bed when they sleep with you...they dont go to bed when they're supposed to...and you don't know what you would ever do without them. The amount of love that you have for them & that they have for you - so unconditional - you wouldn't trade them for all the un-ripped-up socks in the world.

/////

I feel really smart, like "I need to wear glasses regularly" & go to Star Wars role-play-competitions-dressed-as-Chewbacca type of smart, learning coding. Mind you I'm learning the EASY, EASY stuff. But I can still pretend that I'm on a beach in Maui coding for multi-billion dollar websites, right?

/////

I wonder if I'll ever comprehend and grasp the whole "fashion" thing? The other day I went through my closet and started putting things together and realized....I have NO true fashion sense. I get lucky sometimes and I'll see someone wear something and so I'll try it and JACKPOT! I strut my stuff like I'm on the Red Carpet, stopping to pose & tilting my head back to laugh that wide-mouthed-laugh and pretend like I, Bree Reynolds, made this look happen!!! But then there are days, in between those fashionista's posts, when I must hunt for myself and I realize....that grass is REALLY tall...and that fashion-gazelle in REALLY fast....and I am REALLY unequipped to tackle it. And so I just hang my head low...take that polka-dot shirt, army pants and crocs off...and I trade them in for plain blue jeans and a black T and quietly go back to observing those beautiful, mysterious fashion lionesses who kill it every single time. So kudos to you, girls! Thank you for allowing me to partake in your glorious talents!