There will be days when you feel alone.
Like everyone you ever felt close to is miles away, even if they're just a few blocks or rooms away.
You feel alone in your battle; covered in your own blood, feeling as though your infantry as retreated, abandoning you in your fight.
So often in these moments, we as Christians will recite Scriptures or give each other encouragement, reminding one another that GOD is with us & that HE close to us. And there are moments, more moments than not, when that helps.
But there are those few moments when even Scriptures, encouragement and prayer don't immediately take the pain or that 'lonely' feeling away. You're forever grateful for that person or people who took the moment out of their days to love on you and pray for you and encourage you. But your heart is still that heavy anvil in your chest (or in your stomach, if you're me.)
It's these moments that are the hardest to weather.
They are cold.
They are dark.
They are quiet.
They are isolating.
They leave you alone.
They leave you burdened.
They leave you pained.
It's in these moments that the toughest decisions have to be made:
what do you trust?
Do you trust those feelings of seclusion?
Do you trust those moments of darkness?
Do you trust those feelings of rejection, disappointment, hopelessness, confusion, guilt, anger, pain, remorse, victimization, anxiety, betrayal and/or defeat?
Or do you trust, that even if you can't hear it....
Even if you can't feel it....
Even if you can't touch it or really, quite honestly, don't believe it right now....
Do you trust that the storm will subside and that waters will calm;
that the waves will die down and the boat will come to rest?
This the the "faith" that we Christians speak so much about.
The
thing that makes absolutely no sense...
The
thing that denies all sensibility....
The
thing that is completely contradictory to all we have ever been taught or can grasp with our human emotions or mentalities.
Faith is the belief in things that are not as though they are;
being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
It's to believe that despite all the destruction you see in front of you...
all the demolition you feel inside of you...
all the chaos that is around you...
all the misunderstanding that is about you...
all the persecution that is directed to you...
all the damage that has been done to you...
all the mistakes that were made by you...
all the harm that was brought on by those closest to you...
Faith is the belief that things WILL be better, even though they aren't.
Faith is the belief that people WILL act better, even if they aren't.
Faith is the belief that you WILL feel better, even if you don't.
Faith is the belief that your circumstances WILL change, even if they aren't.
Faith is the belief that your marriage WILL last, even if it's breaking apart.
Faith is the belief that your children WILL know the LORD, even if they don't.
Faith is the belief that you CAN break free from drugs and alcohol, even if you still haven't.
Faith is the belief that you WILL have a child, even if you haven't yet.
Faith is the belief that you WILL find the man or woman you will marry, even if you haven't yet.
Faith is the belief that you WILL get a job & you WILL have provision for your family, even if you don't right now.
Faith is the belief that you CAN have a "normal", deep, meaningful and lasting relationship with someone despite rape or molestation.
Faith is the belief that you ARE forgiven for the things you have done and the mistakes you have made, even if you don't feel like you are.
Faith is the belief that GOD DOES exist and that HE IS living, even if you don't see HIM, feel HIM, or understand all there is to HIM.
It's the belief that Christianity is NOT a religion, paying tribute to a body stolen by the Jews. It's the belief that GOD is alive and that HIS son was beaten, bruised, flesh torn, body pierced, sent to the grave and resurrected all so that YOU can have a RELATIONSHIP, not a religion, with HIM.
Faith is the belief that GOD IS there and DOES care for you, even if you don't feel it.
Faith is the difference in me today than who I was 5 years ago.
It's not something I "got" because I'm special or because I'm "spiritual" or because I'm not a "free-thinker."
Faith is something I work at. It doesn't come naturally. Naturally, I get highly stressed, anxious, and irritated; I doubt, I complain, I get confused and I get overwhelmed.
Faith is something I ask GOD for and it's something HE freely gives me. HE's patient. HE's understanding. HE's generous in HIS giving.
Faith can heal your open wounds, your hurts, your pains, your disappointments and your sorrows.
Faith is free to you, too.
It's not something you have to do anything special for.
All you have to do is ASK.
If you ask, you shall receive.
HE is close to the broken hearted, ready to heal their wounds and give them beauty for their ashes.
Faith = Miracles.
Hebrews 11:1-39
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for. By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God's command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible. By faith Abel offered God a better sacrifice than Cain did. By faith he was commended as a righteous man, when God spoke well of his offerings. And by faith he still speaks, even though he is dead. By faith Enoch was taken from this life, so that he did not experience death; he could not be found, because God had taken him away. For before he was taken, he was commended as one who pleased God. And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. By faith Noah, when warned about things not yet seen, in holy fear built an ark to save his family. By his faith he condemned the world and became heir of the righteousness that comes by faith. By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going. By faith he made his home in the promised land like a stranger in a foreign country; he lived in tents, as did Isaac and Jacob, who were heirs with him of the same promise. For he was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God. By faith Abraham, even though he was past age--and Sarah herself was barren--was enabled to become a father because he considered him faithful who had made the promise. And so from this one man, and he as good as dead, came descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as countless as the sand on the seashore. All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country--a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them. By faith Abraham, when God tested him, offered Isaac as a sacrifice. He who had received the promises was about to sacrifice his one and only son, even though God had said to him, "It is through Isaac that your offspring will be reckoned." Abraham reasoned that God could raise the dead, and figuratively speaking, he did receive Isaac back from death. By faith Isaac blessed Jacob and Esau in regard to their future. By faith Jacob, when he was dying, blessed each of Joseph's sons, and worshiped as he leaned on the top of his staff. By faith Joseph, when his end was near, spoke about the exodus of the Israelites from Egypt and gave instructions about his bones. By faith Moses' parents hid him for three months after he was born, because they saw he was no ordinary child, and they were not afraid of the king's edict. By faith Moses, when he had grown up, refused to be known as the son of Pharaoh's daughter. He chose to be mistreated along with the people of God rather than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a short time. He regarded disgrace for the sake of Christ as of greater value than the treasures of Egypt, because he was looking ahead to his reward. By faith he left Egypt, not fearing the king's anger; he persevered because he saw him who is invisible. By faith he kept the Passover and the sprinkling of blood, so that the destroyer of the firstborn would not touch the firstborn of Israel. By faith the people passed through the Red Sea as on dry land; but when the Egyptians tried to do so, they were drowned. By faith the walls of Jericho fell, after the people had marched around them for seven days. By faith the prostitute Rahab, because she welcomed the spies, was not killed with those who were disobedient. And what more shall I say? I do not have time to tell about Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, David, Samuel and the prophets, who through faith conquered kingdoms, administered justice, and gained what was promised; who shut the mouths of lions, quenched the fury of the flames, and escaped the edge of the sword; whose weakness was turned to strength; and who became powerful in battle and routed foreign armies. Women received back their dead, raised to life again. Others were tortured and refused to be released, so that they might gain a better resurrection. Some faced jeers and flogging, while still others were chained and put in prison. They were stoned; they were sawed in two; they were put to death by the sword. They went about in sheepskins and goatskins, destitute, persecuted and mistreated-- the world was not worthy of them. They wandered in deserts and mountains, and in caves and holes in the ground. These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised.
I realized (but didn't) how having puppies would be so similar to having children. But seriously....it is ridiculously close. They poop...you have to clean it up. They throw tantrums, they break things, they hog the ENTIRE bed when they sleep with you...they dont go to bed when they're supposed to...and you don't know what you would ever do without them. The amount of love that you have for them & that they have for you - so unconditional - you wouldn't trade them for all the un-ripped-up socks in the world. 
