My eyes are on you

I've been thinking a lot lately about the type of life I want to live.

What do I want to be remembered for?

When people show up at my funeral and are asked to give brief words about my life, what would I want them to say?

I realize that much of my life has been lived for the purpose of self-fulfillment. Although I don't think a marginal focus of self-fulfillment is bad, if it's ALL that we live for...I think we're deeply, deeply missing out on a far better purpose and mission.

If there is 1 single thing I want to be remembered for...it would be for having eyes that saw the hearts, potential and needs of others. I want to be remembered for helping others.

I think we over-think helping one another FAR too much. Or is it just me? I dont know. I often think that if I'm not traveling to Nicaragua & feeding the hungry or freeing baby seals from oil spills off the coast, that I'm not really impacting anyone. But when I think about the moments that other people helped ME in my life...and how much the every-day, normal, not overly-extravegant gestures helped to change my mood or my circumstances or my heart's condition....I realize that helping someone doesn't involve moving mountains. Helping someone is like every great and wondrous thing ever built - one stone; one brick; one piece at a time. It's not always the big things that make the largest impressions.

I'm putting my passion & my desire for purpose into action. I've created what I call the "Kindness Kard". I'm challenging myself to do at least 1 random act of kindness a week. When I perform the act of kindness, I plan of giving this card to the person I'm helping. Not so that I can get attention. But so that I can encourage others to let the light that may have dimmed inside of them, like it dimmed inside of me, shine bright.

We all have something inside of us that no one else has. We have a way of looking at the world & a contribution that makes the world better than it was the day before. But sometimes life & it's unkind mood-swings cause our hearts to become tainted and the light that resonates from that place deep down inside of us gets shut off or buried under piles of junk! But the more that we step out and dust off that old, broken strobe-light & we shine that sucker on someone else, the easier it is to reach down inside of ourselves, grab a handful of that junk & THROW.IT.THE.HECK.OUT! And the moment that light starts to peak through that junk, the brighter our circumstances get....the brighter our attitudes get...and the brighter life is forced to get because darkness just cant stay darkness when there's light around!

So if you find yourself tired of giving yourself so much dang attention....try giving yourself the cold shoulder & focus on others for awhile. Download my Kindness Kard, totally free of charge and whenever you perform a random act of kindness - whether it's paying for the multi-tasking momma's stuff at the grocery store or leaving a $20 on the dude's window shield at Starbucks who got a little huffy with the barista in line, perhaps because he lost his job today & doesn't know how he'll provide the sole-finances for his wife and 3 little ones at home; or maybe it's after giving your co-worker a ride to work this week because her car broke down and she's working 3 jobs just to pay for rent......

Whoever it is...whatever you do.....do something kind for them and pass them this card. Maybe write a little note on the back of it just to encourage them to remember what an amazing person they are & how much GOD loves them.

If you'd like to share a story about someone that you blessed with a random act of kindness and a Kindness Kard, I'd love to hear about it. Post it on your blog & link it back to this, leave me a comment below, or send me an email at fullyaccepted@gmail.com. But please remember that we should never, ever show kindness to others for the purpose of winning "kudos" or "that a boys" or "youre so nice"'s from others. I believe that when we do kind things for others, it should be with the desire to take our focus off of ourselves and give back to others what GOD has given to us. It says in HIS word that when we do things for the praise of man, that is the only blessing we receive from it. So bless others, with the expectation of being blessed back, and when you have some blessings to spare - share your story. Do twice as many acts in the dark as you do in the light. :)

Be remembered for remembering others.
It's the absolute best way to be.

Shadows...

So many times I've read this story in the Bible but no time previously has it stuck with me so fiercely. I will make a confession to you - I have found it difficult in the past to related to stories in the Bible. Differences in culture, differences in customs, differences in political ideals. But as I'm praying for more wisdom and insight into GOD's word, I'm seeing so much more than I ever saw before and it's all becoming so much more relevant and personal.

Have you ever felt like a shadow on a wall? Like the light is cast on someone else & the darkness always favors you? Have you ever felt second-best; always coming up behind someone else? Have you ever felt like maybe love is meant for everyone else & that your fate is to grow accustomed and content with being alone?

I can imagine that Leah must have felt most of those things her whole life. Her younger sister - better looking. Her younger sister - first to receive a proposal. Her younger sister - scores a man so deeply infatuated & in love with her that he works for SEVEN YEARS for her hand in marriage. As if that wasn't enough to make you feel second-rate, when it was time to hand over the "prized pony" to her suitor....Daddy dearest hands over her (Leah), instead, because "it's tradition that you marry the first born girl first." It wasn't love that compelled Jacob to marry Leah. It was out of "obligation" & "if you don't you can't have what you really want".

The day every girl hopes, wishes & plans for - her wedding day - & she still comes up second best. 

Oh how I've felt like a Leah so many times in my life. If the story ended there, I would get up right off this couch and head for the "double double, marshmallow, nutter-butter, caramel sauce, whipped topping, mint choco-cookie cream" ice cream in my freezer, turn on the "Notebook" and call it a night. 

But GOD's love never leaves a broken heart in shambles. There was one thing - the most important thing - the greatest gift a woman could ever bestow in that day & age....and where Leah so many times before came in second place....GOD handed her the gold metal & pinned that puppy right on her blazer. "When the LORD saw that Leah was hated, HE opened her womb". There was nothing of a greater honor in their time but to give birth to children - especially males. She bore 4 sons before Rachel's womb was ever opened.

Leah may never have won the affections of her husband. But she won the attention, heart & mercy of her FATHER. 

If you've ever felt overlooked....

If you've ever felt "second-best"....

If you've ever felt unseen, unheard, unknown or unwanted....

know, daughter, that you've won the heart, attention and never-ceasing affection of GOD & that HIS arms are out-stretched, prepared to give you the greatest gifts anyone could ever bestow.

You are the apple of HIS eye.

Short & Sweet

It's been just shy of 2 months since I last posted a blog. When I shut down town and slapped the "out of business" sign on my blogging a few months ago, I wasn't really sure if it would ever resurface again. I knew I loved doing it but I felt I wasn't really sure where it was going.

I didn't want to return to blogging if it was just going to be used for my benefit. That doesn't mean that I can't have fun doing it. But it means that the underlying purpose of WHY I blog can't be for my own satisfaction, gain or personal achievement. If I was going to blog again, I wanted to have a reason for doing it and the only reason I was willing to settle for was for the purpose of helping others. When people read my blogs, I want them to enjoy what they're reading and have fun & interact and have a good time. But more then that, I want people to walk away with something that makes them a different person. I recognize that I personally cannot change anyone. Nothing I say or do of my own strength and accord can change someone. But what I can do is I can be a vessel for the one that CAN change people. When I blog, I can blog with the purpose to be a mouthpiece for the One who changes hearts, minds and lives.

My new blog title is one that aligns with the vision and purpose I want my blog to have. I could go into full detail as to all that GOD's been showing me in my own life these last 2 months & how this title came about but in the smallest nut shell possible - we live so much of our lives without ever understanding just how special and important we are to GOD. We wander through so much of life weighed down by our mistakes that we miss the one thing that GOD spoke over us from the very moment we were created, already knowing all that we would do, good and bad - that we were accepted; we were accepted, approved & welcomed. 

If we would just live in that - how much more purposeful & fulfilled we would live our lives.

Anyways, I'm really glad to be back & I look forward to all that's to come.

Seasons

To you - 

to those who have made 'hello's' feel like that warm country dinner shared on a windy, country night;

to those who have inspired me & shared your stories with me;

to those who have mentored me and encouraged me on this journey;

my sincerest Thank You's. 

I am forever grateful for the new friendships I've made in the journey of "blogging".

I am forever thankful for the already-present friendships that grew deeper through sharing life's stories together.

I am grateful for readers - big or small, many or few - who met me along this path and cheered from beside me on the road.

I just want to say Thank You.

Thank you for being YOU -

because YOU are so ridiculously special.

This will be the last blog I post here on breewith2e-s. Some seasons bring forth harvest each season. Some seasons live to birth just once. 

I don't know when, or if, this season will come around again. But for now, we must part our ways.

I've never been good with "Goodbye's", "The End's", or "Until Next Time's".

I'm a sap for "Happily Ever After's", "Forever and Ever's" and "Forever and Always'".

So I wish you all the Happiest Ever After,

and the best of Forevers.

With all my love, admiration, and deepest appreciations.

xoxoxo

Encore

It's called Thanksgiving.

No, not the day we celebrate on the fourth Thursday of November each year. The day we stuff our faces with deliciousness and sit with our jeans unbuttoned and our shirts stained with pumpkin pie filling. 

I'm talking about the Thanksgiving that happens inside of a person. The emotion that causes your heart to melt. The over-welming sense of submission caused by the reality that the blessings of your life are so many and the things you've done to deserve them are so absent and few.

When I think of my life, this is the only word I can use to describe the aftermath of the realization I have in retrospect to it. It's the summation of the addition. It's the expression of the combination. 

It's the lyrics to my heart's song.

It's a production inspired by the cast -

my GOD,

my husband,

my family,

my friends.

It's an Encore ever going. 

It's an encore, courtesy of YOU.

Many thanks

As many (or few...however many of you there are) of you read on my last post, I was nominated for a Liebster Award. I am so thankful to the sweet little gal over at A fanciful creature for nominating me. One of the absolute best things about blogging is all the people you meet and have the opportunity to get to know. Blogging is a very raw expression of a person and so you really have the opportunity of getting to know people beyond a surface-level "know". It's nice being part of a community of people who are brave enough to share their vulnerability with others. I'm thankful for people like that. You learn so much from them.

So, thank you so much, Tiffany, for your nomination. I really do appreciate it very much.

Some background info on the Liebster Award (copied from Tiffany's blog):

The Liebster Award is given to up and coming bloggers who have less than 200 followers. So, what is a Liebster?  The meaning: Liebster is German and means sweetest, kindest, nicest, dearest, beloved, lovely, kind, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing, and welcome. 

Thats what makes receiving this so much sweeter. It's the thought that someone sees you in such a sweet light. Makes your cheeks turn up and turn shades of rosy! (thats the cheeks on your face, of course!)

The Rules:1. Each person must post 11 things about themselves.
2. Answer the questions that the tagger set for you plus create 11 questions for the people you’ve tagged to answer.
3. Choose 11 people to nominate and link them in your post.
4. Go to their page and tell them.
5. No tag backs!

Let's see what I can accomplish here:

11 Things about me:

1. I love taking showers. I'm not a very big "bath" person but in the same way that people are "bath" people, I'm a "shower" people. If I could stay ALL DAY in a shower, I happily would.

2. Nothing excites me more than a hand-written letter. I don't know why - but I really, really love them.

3. I am terrible at getting things out in the mail on time. It's an AWFUL problem of mine that I am working on fixing. I typically get things out in the mail like 2-3 weeks after they should have originally been in there. *hangs head in defeat*

4. I played the Tuba in Junior High. I honestly dont even remember how in the world I ever got talked into or decided to play it. But I played it for close to a year until I switched to the clarinet. 

5. My favorite color is black & white. 

Yep. You read that right - black & white is my favorite color.

I dont consider them to be a combination of 2 colors. If they're mixed together, it's one color.

6. I have never broken a bone in my body. I fractured several bones in my face in a car accident but I'm thankful that I've never fully and completely broken any bones.

7. I officially sleep with 4 pillows - 2 under my head, 1 between my legs and 1 in my arms. It drives me absolutely crazy. But if I don't have all 4 of them...I don't sleep.

8. I once got an apple stuck in my mouth....like a pig on a serving platter. Yeah...I swore I'd NEVER tell that story....but....the things you do for blogs, right? Yep. Got it stuck - top and lower teeth unable to move - unable to dislodge it for a good 5 minutes. My mother offered no assistance in removing it. She just sat across the table, laughing, tears streaming down her face. This was my childhood.

9. I am a terrible procrastinator. The worst. I'll tell you more about that tomorrow....

10. I believe the absolute best in other people. But I struggle with seeing it in myself. I'm thankful I have the Bible to remind me of who someone else thinks I am. Sometimes you just need to hear that someone recklessly loves you and sees something in you that you cant see in yourself.

10. I have the worlds best friends. I really, really do. I went through almost all my life wishing for friends like the ones I have now. I make no exaggeration when I saw that I thank GOD for them regularly. My life is beautiful, in the largest part, because of the people I call my "friends".

11. I wanted to post this one first but thought it might be a little too cliche so I saved it for the last, which is always the best: I could not think of a better man to have for my husband. He is the world's best person in so many ways. 

Questions by Tiffany:

1. Do you have a bad habit? What is it? When I'm excited, I always interrupt people. Not because I'm trying to be rude...but I'm just so excited about what they're talking about. 
2. Which superhero would you like to be? Popeye. I want huge muscular Biceps.
3. Name a skill you wish you were good at. Sewing. There are so many things I would LOVE to do if I could just learn how to sew.
4. If you could vacation at one place in the entire world free of charge, where would it be? PARIS!
5. Are you brave enough to share one of your weakest strength/trait/character flaw? Come on, don’t be a wuss. I am terrible at being diligent. It is by far my absolute worst personality/character flaw. I hardly ever stick to anything I start.
6. A lesson that you learned in life. Dont live your life to please others. It makes you empty in the long run.
7. What is one of your pet peeves? Being interrupted. Funny, huh, considering #1? lol
8. If you could send a one sentence note to yourself 8 years ago, what would it say? Don’t cheat. Don't let other's misconceptions of you define who you believe yourself to be.
9. If you could be any animal, which would it be and why? A lioness. She guards, protects and wears her strength in the best form of grace. 
10. How do you unwind after a long day? Curl up next to my hubbie and our puppies and watch a good movie
11. Since you were brave enough with question #5, what is your strong/positive trait? If you weren’t brave, go back to #5 and do not pass Go. I'd say my strongest, most positive trait is encouraging others. I love making others believe the best of themselves. It's not something I fake or fabricate or lie to others about. It's not something I do, at all, to get praise in return. Something just happens inside of me when I see someone pick themselves up and keep walking. I was once extended hands that helped to pick me up. I know how far that gesture goes.

Questions for you:

1. If you could have one body part replaced by robotic mechanics, what would it be and why?

2. If you were in the Matrix, would you take the blue pill or the red pill?

3. What time is your bed time?

4. What one thing would you re-do in life if you could?

5. What embarrassing nickname did you have growing up and how did you get it?

6. What motivated you to start a blog?

7. If your readers snagged your iphone from you, would they see more pictures of you in your gallery or of others?

8. What is your daily 'getting ready' routine look like?

9. If you had the choice, would you be a Hollywood Movie/Rock Star, a Fairy-Tale Princess or an Undercover CIA Operative with to many Aliases to count?

10.  What experience or encounter with a person helped you to grow the most into the person that you are?

11. Of all the blogs you've written, which has been your favorite to write and why?

Because I'm really new to blogging and haven't really established a "following", I'm going to do Rules#3-5 a little differently.

I'm going to let my READERS nominate their favorite "followers" for this award! Just drop them a comment letting them know you've nominated them, include the link to my post here, and then leave them a comment on my post about why you think they're so awesome! I believe in the power of the people. So let your voice be heard!

xoxoxoxo

Wowzers

WOWZERS is right!

Where in the world have I been???? 

I must say...I have missed blogging SO much.

It's crazy how you can start something and not really have any idea where it will take you. You think it means nothing - what's writing a few things down on a computer, right? 

But then you realize...you miss the moments spent in front of the computer assigning real words to nameless emotions and pealing back the scaly-skin of "feelings" and exposing yourself to what really lays within you.

It's amazing how quickly blogging can become a part of you.

So....

where the heck have I been?

What the heck have I been doing?

Time to insert some bullet-point paragraphs, my friends. 

(My organizational OCD is elated right now)

• First things first - hubby and I celebrated our 3 year anniversary this year - celebrated it in May. We took a trip out to Thousand Acres (literally exactly what it sounds like - a 1000 acre field) and we let our 1 1/2 year old Cattle Dog pups off the leash for the first time. I love exploring new places, especially if they are outside in wide-open spaces like woods or fields or oceans. We took the most lovely walk, held hands, smooched, ran with our puppies. It was really just such a perfect get-away. 

Later that night we went out to eat at a classy place here in Portland on the 34th (?) floor of a major downtown building and we sipped on Coca Cola's and ate the world's best appetizers. Talked about work and life and love. Got all dressed up. It was a very romantic 45 minutes :)

Then we enjoyed late night movies and snacks - my all-time favorite thing to do with the hubs. 

Love is simply the most wonderful thing in the world when you share it with the right person. I'm so incredibly lucky to have the opportunity to share love everyday with this man.

• Secondly, I celebrated my 27th birthday this year. Hubby took me out to my favorite restaurant in all the world: Olive Garden, and spoiled me with chocolate cake lit by the sparkle of a single candle flame.

 He went all-out this year and gave me mullah (thats "money", for you less gangster readers) to purchase a Nike Running Band which I couldn't be more excited about. I made the very personally-frightening but equally challenging commitment to sign up and participate in my very first 5k this coming September. So having something to track my performance is a big fat A+++ in my little black book of all things awesome-sauce. As if all that wasn't enough lovin', my sweet, sweet friends - the Tarter's - baked me some birthday goodies. This woman and her baking skills are 

A-MA-ZING. 

• Ok, third bullet-pointed paragraph (are you loving these as much as I am, yet?): The next big thing to take my attention away from blogging was our trip to Coronado Island. Ok, so my hubby INSISTS it's not an "island" because a small part of it is technically still attached to a bridge that connects San Diego to Coronado but....since I'm the one blogging here. I get to tell the story the way that I want to tell the story. 

So, there we were on an island.....

We went to visit the Reynold's family for a family reunion. I had the amazing privilege of meeting family I had never met before and honestly just getting to know those I have so much better. I had the best time loving and being loved on by my hubby's family. It was such a wonderful trip.

• The week before we left for Coronado I found out that I was blessed with a new job. I am now, officially, the Administrative Assistant for the Staples Distribution Center here in Portland, OR. I could not be MORE excited. I am so, so thankful to GOD for HIS favor. I feel incredibly blessed to be working with such a reputable, well-known and profitable company. The people I am meeting really seem just so genuine and honestly happy to work there. I completed day 3 there today and I am very excited to complete many, many more. I am very humbled to have this opportunity. I owe it all to the favor and goodness of GOD. HE is so, so good.

• Lastly, I received such an amazing honor this week. I opened my email this week to find an amazing blogger named Tiffany from A Fanciful Creature nominated me for a Liebster Award! If you dont know what that is, check out Tiffany's post about it here. I will post my official response and answers about it this weekend when I have some dedicated time to sit down and really invest time in expressing my absolute sincere appreciation and "awe" for being thought of to be nominated. But, I just want to say (in preface for my post this coming weekend): Thank you SOOOOOOO much, Tiffany, for taking the time out of your day to do something so thoughtful and kind. I appreciate your sweet gesture so much. I really look forward to getting to know you and your blog much better.

I have missed you all!!!! I promise to return to my more punctual, routine-blogging lifestyle very shortly. Did I mention I also started a summer course at Portland Bible College? Yeah...I'm juggling homework, as well. Oh, and 2 bible study classes throughout the week...while training for my marathon...while learning a new job...while taking care of my hubby and house and pups....

while un-crossing my eyes and letting go of the handfuls of hair in my fits. enjoying all the blessings in my life. :)

Hugs, love and other glittery stuff, as always!

xoxoxoxooxglitterxoxooxoxox